First, the news; Sorry I haven't been around to post here. I did make a second blog that is more successful than this one, but I want to migrate them all here because I just prefer this website. xD It's easier to deal with! AAANNND, I have a few stories I wrote for those of you who love reading them. So the few viewers who still check this thing daily, thank you. Please send me an e-mail at Dazeonae@gmail.com, we'll discuss some sort of gift for you!
Anyway; the Timmy Quiz! This is a quiz to see who of you knows the most about me! Whether I told you, you asked a friend, or you're a creepy frickin' stalker. Guess it's time to find out who the true fans are! I am also hosting this quiz in two more places, although there will be different questions, feel free to take them all. No cheating!
Some will be multiple choice, and some will be open ended. You may give me the answers here, on MSN, or email them to me, whatever is easiest for you. NO, I WILL NOT TELL YOU THE ANSWERS!
What's Timmy's favorite colour?
[ ] Green
[ ] Yellow
[ ] Blue
[ ] Red
What's Timmy's favorite candy?
[ ] Gummi Frogs
[ ] Hot Tamales
[ ] Ferrero Rocher
[ ] Skittles
Who's Timmy's current favorite band?
[ ] Linkin Park
[ ] The Gazette
[ ] UVERworld
[ ] MSI
When did Timmy start modeling?
[ ] At birth
[ ] August 5th
[ ] August 1st
[ ] July 2nd
What is Timmy's BIGGEST goal/wish?
What does Timmy spend most of his time doing?
What's the name of Timmy's dog?
How many stories has Timmy written?
[ ] 52
[ ] 71
[ ] 104
[ ] 85
Where does Timmy live?
Who is Timmy's superhero?
Who's Timmy's favorite COMIC superhero?
What's Timmy's biggest pet peeve?
[ ] People who don't listen
[ ] Idiocy
[ ] Ignorance
[ ] Overly gorgeous people
[ ] Other: ____________
If the world was being destroyed and Timmy could only save one person, who would it be?
If Timmy could; what would be the color scheme for all of his clothing?
Does Timmy prefer philosophy or religion?
What does Timmy hate about philosophy and religion?
What's the feature Timmy practically requires on those he would date?
Who's Timmy's favorite actor?
Who's Timmy's second favorite actor?
Who's Timmy's favorite actress?
Second favorite actress?
If Timmy could have any type of weapon in the world, what would it be?
[ ] World destroying ray, controlled by a button
[ ] Thick and sturdy, possibly magical, staff
[ ] Maniacal claw(s) that could shred anything
[ ] Daggers that could cut through anything
What colour is Timmy's Nintendo DS?
[ ] Blue
[ ] Black
[ ] Gray
[ ] White
What would Timmy like to name his first daughter?
What would Timmy like to name his first son?
Who is Timmy's current favorite person?
Who is Timmy's biggest fan? (Hint, it's actually someone most of you might know)
When Timmy does what TV, what is he MOST LIKELY watching? (Surprizingly, it's not porn.)
What's Timmy's current favorite MMORPG?
What's the name of Timmy's favorite/main roleplaying character?
What name does Timmy use as an ID/Screenname/Username, EVERYWHERE?
What's Timmy's most dangerous fascination?
[ ] Playing with sharp objects
[ ] Playing with fire
[ ] Testing the stability of people and things around him. (i.e. Mental abuse, and punching/kicking walls or doors.)
[ ] Flipping from objects above the ground
What color are Timmy's eyes right now?
[ ] Cerulean
[ ] Brown
[ ] Gray
[ ] Red
When Timmy turns on his webcam, what's the first thing he's most likely to do?
What's Timmy's next story going to be about?
What's Timmy's favorite sex position?
What time of the day are you most likely to catch Timmy at the computer?
(There will be a harder quiz if there is a tie for top score)
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
A new day is dawning
Something happened to me today, a sudden wash of pride. A feeling that everything has been going just as I thought it would. I know who I am and I know what I will do, but what will those around me do as I attempt leave them in the dust? I'm off to better things; I have modeling to get ready for and that's hard on me as it is; but I do thank all of you who support me, and ALL OF YOU WHO STILL SHOW UP AND READ THIS BUT DON'T COMMENT! Jerks. Anyway; thank you so much; I've replied to all the emails and stuff and Patterson, I believe it was, I will not mention you on my blog, regardless of how big a bag of Hot Tamales was. >__>;
ANYWHO; That's all for now, I have to go have fun with other junk and bother people. If you ever need to reach me, it's best to do it by email~ For those of you who are too lazy to FIND my email; Dazeonae@gmail.com. Have a blast, and remember... I already hate you, so don't get in my way. :\
ANYWHO; That's all for now, I have to go have fun with other junk and bother people. If you ever need to reach me, it's best to do it by email~ For those of you who are too lazy to FIND my email; Dazeonae@gmail.com. Have a blast, and remember... I already hate you, so don't get in my way. :\
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Letter from the heart
Everyone wants a sign; a non-specific thing or being to pass within their range of vision for even just a brief second; but a sign means nothing if you don't know how to interpret it. The world is full of signs, signals, things telling which direction we should head in, when we should stop, when to go. I'm not talking about driving, I'm talking about life. I myself am waiting for a sign, some... Thing that points me in the direction my heart wants to go, but then I realize that the sign I've been waiting for has been in front of me all along. This wanting to follow my heart is the sign; this yearning for that comforting feeling, my simplistic desires fulfilled, it is all waiting for me. But what if this sign leads me in the wrong direction? What if at the end of this road I find that what I wanted isn't what I can have? Do I wait for another sign, or just make a new one; like I did with the previous? I guess this is to say; don't wait for something to come along and show you where to go; all of the signs are right in front of you, you just need to open your eyes.
I've spent my days pondering about what my next move will be; wondering if stepping out on to thin ice is really a safe thing to do. But I remember that the best moments I had in my life, were the ones when I wasn't thinking. I did what I wanted and it felt wonderful; it was easy to not have regrets because I didn't think about it, but now, there is some that I wish I thought about. And some things that I thought about that I wish I didn't. We're living in a world where you are pummeled with bad news, and how every step you take could be your last, so live life to the fullest; but be cautious and think about it. Mixed emotions for something that I don't have the time to deal with, and neither should you. I feel as though following your heart is doing without thinking, but in itself is all the thinking you need. Every question formed against me will now be answered from the heart; but for those of you who want so many questions answered, ask yourself if you're ready for the answer I might give.
I've spent my days pondering about what my next move will be; wondering if stepping out on to thin ice is really a safe thing to do. But I remember that the best moments I had in my life, were the ones when I wasn't thinking. I did what I wanted and it felt wonderful; it was easy to not have regrets because I didn't think about it, but now, there is some that I wish I thought about. And some things that I thought about that I wish I didn't. We're living in a world where you are pummeled with bad news, and how every step you take could be your last, so live life to the fullest; but be cautious and think about it. Mixed emotions for something that I don't have the time to deal with, and neither should you. I feel as though following your heart is doing without thinking, but in itself is all the thinking you need. Every question formed against me will now be answered from the heart; but for those of you who want so many questions answered, ask yourself if you're ready for the answer I might give.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Down but not out
I've done my sulking and sat in my sadness and it's about time I came back. I've got a bunch to share with you all; I suppose it depends on how you view 'a bunch'. First of all; a tidbit of writing that came out of nowhere; I literally just sat down and it spilled out.
The world is spinning, and as I walk this earth, the hearts I touch stand still, but the world is still spinning. I can dig deep and fly high, get lost and never found but this gift will never leave me. I am capable of reaching up and grabbing the stars, bring them back to earth and molding gems, yet all of the treasures in the world aren't enough for the greed I have, I've tossed away so much, giving up so much, but my nature is to take and no matter what I do, it's never enough; and the world keeps spinning. I am truly a king, a right given to a select few by powers unknown to mankind. I am suppose to rule, reign and crush all before my with my righteous hands; and still, regardless of all of this power that has been thrust upon me, there are those who still have powerful effects on me, I can't beat them now. I know I can beat them with time, but my current life prevents that; do I chase after my heart's dream or do I stick with the safety of human bonds and knowledge, clinging to this insignificant life I have? I stand at a mental crossroads, each path laid out by my own shadow; here I stand, time stands still beside me, yet the world is still spinning.
ANYWHO; the news, several good things, and I can't think of any bad things, so... Here we go.'
1) I'm headed off to my next semester at ASU in August, which means those of you who read my blog WITHOUT LEAVING COMMENTS (COUGH COUGH) will get to see me again. Well... Those of you I won't see this summer.
2) There are three tattoo ideas I have only two of which are known by a select few and I may decide to go get them soon. SOUNDS GOOD, RIGHT!? No, it's nothing crazy or dramatic, no tattoo across my face or something, they will be able to be hidden. Erm... Well, sort of. I can hide them if I really don't want people to see them.
3) According to a bunch of my friends and a really freaky/weird adult, I, somewhat, have the potential to be a male model, and thus, starting towards the end of this summer and all through this year at college, I will be an amateur male model which means all of you picture freaks out there will get your fill! GET OFF MY BACK.
4) I got my new glasses a week or so ago! They are thick rimmed glasses that make me look pretty cute actually. It was advice from someone and I don't regret it at all, I look really cute. Of course I'll look better with a hair cut and such; AAANNNDD that brings me to the next thing~
5) I'm thinking of bleaching my hair and possibly dying it blue. My choices are leaving it bleached, bleaching it and dying it blue or cutting it. If I don't cut it, I'll probably get my hair straightened and have gorgeous lengthy hair to wave around. YAY, right!? You can all play in my hair s'more. ♥
6) Terra is a douche-bag who will get thrown at a wall because she's just mean and picks on me too much. Skank. :] <33
7) I don't remember but there actually was something else important; maybe it'll come to me later.
BUT YEAH~ I'M BACK NOW; time to write you people stupid so you can be bored with me again. I love you all; call me when my phone is back on!
ɛïɜ
The world is spinning, and as I walk this earth, the hearts I touch stand still, but the world is still spinning. I can dig deep and fly high, get lost and never found but this gift will never leave me. I am capable of reaching up and grabbing the stars, bring them back to earth and molding gems, yet all of the treasures in the world aren't enough for the greed I have, I've tossed away so much, giving up so much, but my nature is to take and no matter what I do, it's never enough; and the world keeps spinning. I am truly a king, a right given to a select few by powers unknown to mankind. I am suppose to rule, reign and crush all before my with my righteous hands; and still, regardless of all of this power that has been thrust upon me, there are those who still have powerful effects on me, I can't beat them now. I know I can beat them with time, but my current life prevents that; do I chase after my heart's dream or do I stick with the safety of human bonds and knowledge, clinging to this insignificant life I have? I stand at a mental crossroads, each path laid out by my own shadow; here I stand, time stands still beside me, yet the world is still spinning.
ANYWHO; the news, several good things, and I can't think of any bad things, so... Here we go.'
1) I'm headed off to my next semester at ASU in August, which means those of you who read my blog WITHOUT LEAVING COMMENTS (COUGH COUGH) will get to see me again. Well... Those of you I won't see this summer.
2) There are three tattoo ideas I have only two of which are known by a select few and I may decide to go get them soon. SOUNDS GOOD, RIGHT!? No, it's nothing crazy or dramatic, no tattoo across my face or something, they will be able to be hidden. Erm... Well, sort of. I can hide them if I really don't want people to see them.
3) According to a bunch of my friends and a really freaky/weird adult, I, somewhat, have the potential to be a male model, and thus, starting towards the end of this summer and all through this year at college, I will be an amateur male model which means all of you picture freaks out there will get your fill! GET OFF MY BACK.
4) I got my new glasses a week or so ago! They are thick rimmed glasses that make me look pretty cute actually. It was advice from someone and I don't regret it at all, I look really cute. Of course I'll look better with a hair cut and such; AAANNNDD that brings me to the next thing~
5) I'm thinking of bleaching my hair and possibly dying it blue. My choices are leaving it bleached, bleaching it and dying it blue or cutting it. If I don't cut it, I'll probably get my hair straightened and have gorgeous lengthy hair to wave around. YAY, right!? You can all play in my hair s'more. ♥
6) Terra is a douche-bag who will get thrown at a wall because she's just mean and picks on me too much. Skank. :] <33
7) I don't remember but there actually was something else important; maybe it'll come to me later.
BUT YEAH~ I'M BACK NOW; time to write you people stupid so you can be bored with me again. I love you all; call me when my phone is back on!
ɛïɜ
Monday, May 25, 2009
I think I'm leaving
I won't be posting here much anymore; I've lost all motivation, but I figure to all of those people who show up and read this that don't leave comments, you will know why I'm not posting anymore. I know that there's a few people who aren't following me who read this con a consistent basis, because my counter tells me so; so it's all for you; a goodbye.
Recently, I've been feeling fairly down and pretty broken because the love of my life has found other things to do. Before I go any further, I will not tolerate any badmouthing about her, I won't like if any of you say something like "You're better off without her"; I'm not. How do I know? Did you ever just know something? It's like that. I love her, I always will, nothing will ever change it.
To start; I'm somehow sure that she's told many of her friends about it, and they haven't even gotten the whole story so it looks like I'm the bad guy. That is not to say that she is the bad guy, but that she may have made me out to be the one who caused everything. I'll try to explain the entire situation as best I can, from a neutral standpoint. That is to say that, I don't know what she was thinking at any of these times, so I can not be completely accurate. I'll start from the present and work my way back.
Today, I sent her an e-mail saying how things have looked to me, how her actions and words have made me feel distant and how she seems to have done nothing to help it. Yes, it was a long distance relationship so it took so much more work to make it work. We kept this relationship moving, regardless of how slow or little, for a year and a half. The plan was becoming that I end up in Belgium with her so that we could take this relationship to the lengths we've talked and dreamed about. I started to doubt that it would happen about a month and a half ago, when it felt like she was losing interest in me. (Yes, it hurts to be writing this, I'm coming down to tears, but I don't know who else to tell than the people who are interested in my writing.) Anyway; last week she spent the week rushing up her outfits so that she could go to an expo in London. She spent the entire week sewing and working to make sure the outfits would get finished. For that, i commend her, that takes a lot of dedication. But whenever I would try to talk to her, the conversation; after no more than 20 minutes; came down to "I have to get back to sewing." So of course, what does that mean? I should leave her alone. The hint was pretty obvious. However, she did manage to have time to talk to other people throughout her sewing on IRC; which is a wonderful chat service by the way. She found time to talk to them concerning a game; MapleStory; although it was a private server so people were less restricted to what they could do, and it was a small community so it became easy to know everyone. She would find time to go play the game, even though it was just several minutes, but didn't have time to talk to me. Not to mention that since the beginning of this month and for many weeks further, she never spoke to me unless I initiated the conversation, and I have conversation logs to prove this.
Anyway; she went to the London Expo, and would've been gone this entire weekend. Not getting back until late Sunday. But then she decides to go on a tour of the UK with friends. Add that to the previous week of her barely talking to me, and the idea that she thinks about me, us, and the thought that she loves me, has become blurred a hefty amount. Is it too much to want to feel loved once in a while? To just get some attention to myself? Or does the attention I can get always have to be split between friends?
Before you all go on and start thinking she's to blame for everything; I do have many faults of my own. Although many of you may not know it, I have tremendous trust issues, 'specially when it comes to relationships. None of my relationships have ended on a positive note, and they were pretty much all ended with me being heartbroken because my other did something completely detestable and untrustworthy. Tie into that, the fact that my family doesn't trust me at all because I have a past of stealing. However no one seems to give you room to change, right? They expect what they want to because... I don't even know. My family has dreams and goals for me, and if I don't reach those, I become nothing, and get yelled at. So I've decided that maybe I should just be what everyone thinks I should be. I have a tenacious habit of speaking the truth, knowing people won't believe me, even if I do. What can I say; people don't like the truth when it comes from a bad guy, so the truth gets changed. I suppose I should go back to the way things were, and just lie. But change so much, and lie so hard that my lies become the truth. More on the subject at hand; I have felt that she has been dishonest with me on many occasions, I'd say half of them are justified while the others are just me being paranoid. But I know that it made her feel bad because I know what it feels like to not be trusted. I have a habit of being clingy when something benefits me; and because she was everything I wanted and needed at the time, I clung to her and she hates it when people get clingy. Something that changed, because she hated it so much is that; I used to stick to my words. What I mean by that is; I went EXACTLY by what was said, and would do whatever I had to do to do what was said but twist everything else so that it befitted me. I had to stop that because she hated it when I did that; it drove her insane and she would try to pick out what I would say and make me promise that I would do what she was expecting, not what I or she said.
I'm sure there are many more faults of mine, but since she can also read this, I think she'll make an appearance and say what those are.
She said she likes to manipulate people; so maybe I was just being manipulated. I don't know, but if that is what it took to feel good, then I don't care. Many months ago she used to sing to me. She would sing a particular song that would show me how much she cared. It showed me that she loved me. It was a time when she had no problem saying something like "I'm going to spend time with you today; no one else. So let's have fun!" She used to do things like that, although she wouldn't say those words, but I knew it because she literally spent all her time with me those days, there was no time for anyone else. Our love was at its peak in those times. We could've done anything and it didn't matter because we had each other. And all of you know; I'm a pain in the ass for promises. And she promised me so many things. So instead of being an asshole, and dismissing them or saying she won't hold up to them; I'll wait and see if they come true. She promised that we'll be together forever; in fact she was the first one to say that. So maybe this will work out somehow. You all know of the few months we were apart during the last summer, so maybe it'll be like that. Or maybe I'm holding on to false dreams. Well these dreams make me happy so I'll hold on to them for at long as I live. I love that girl. She could make me smile when I didn't want to. She could push the world out of view and move my vision to just her and I. I know she still cares to some point because she wouldn't have waited this long just for me to break it up, if she didn't love me. So I don't know what's going on in her head but if she was willing to still hold my hand and yell that she loves me from the highest points on the planet so everyone could hear, I'll stay open to that chance.
Shana was my inspiration for just about everything. She's the one who made me believe in impossibles. She made me realize that the world has something better to offer than bullshit and broken dreams. So in a way; yeah, I'm sort of begging for her to come back. But, that's not the right thing to do. I cause her so much trouble and it's because I'm afraid of her doing something that would cost us the relationship. But I know that staying in a relationship where you don't feel loved and you don't get any attention isn't one to stay in. I would still do anything for her, and I still want to go to Belgium to see if this has any chance at all. If not for that, then just for once chance to kiss her and show her how I really feel. I can never show her how I feel; every chance I try, something goes wrong. Mostly I think it's that she takes it up as me just worrying. Or sometimes she has something else to do, so she doesn't have time to let it sink in.
She says that she told her parents that I want to go there and they they would have to pay for some stuff, and somehow... I believe that, but my logic; and damn my logic, I fucking hate it; tells me that maybe she didn't show them how important it was. I just feel like I've given it my all and she's only given 70%. She will always be my everything, and she will always be of the same caliber of as my grandmother. My grandmother, the most important person I look up to in all the world died of heart complications several years ago, and I think I've done my crying for that. She was everything I had, and the only person in the world I looked up to with the most importance. Then came Leo. I put those two people above any other people in the world; they taught me so much, and I still find myself asking for their strength. I tell everyone that I'm going out for a jog late at night, but really I'm just taking time to look up at the stars and ask them for some help. To ask them to help be be strong. Now I suppose I will put Shana in the same place.
PLEASE don't misunderstand; I would love nothing more than to hear Shana's voice and have her tell me that everything is going to be oukay. That she loves me with all her heart and that we will make this work, no matter what we have to do.
Anyway, I do have this feeling that she's told her friends that I broke up with her, but I have this feeling that she left out many details. And left out what has been going on for me to even assume such a thing. I never broke up with her, for those of her friends that read this, because I know that there are a few of you. She just didn't give you the whole truth IF she told you that I broke up with her. If she didn't then, I'm sorry I had to be the one to say all of this, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't hound her about it. It's not her fault; though I do blame her for some of the things that happened, but I am also to blame for many things that happened. So it's not her fault, and it's not my fault. I love my Shana, more than anything in the world. She is my heart and soul. Stupidly... I will wait for the day that she returns. Until then; I will be what everyone expects of me.
If you're reading this Shana; I don't know what you're going to say or do; but I think you'll be mad that I shared personal things with friends. But if I don't have you; they are all I have. So please understand. And understand that I love you. I NEVER could say anything otherwise. these wings will always be close to my heart, because I would never decide that you weren't important to me. I love you my Adorable-Little-Snuggle-Bunny-cupcake-mini-muffin. Slap toesocks. ♥♥
To all of my friends, Grandmother and Leo. Allow me to be weak for a little while. I think I deserve that.
Recently, I've been feeling fairly down and pretty broken because the love of my life has found other things to do. Before I go any further, I will not tolerate any badmouthing about her, I won't like if any of you say something like "You're better off without her"; I'm not. How do I know? Did you ever just know something? It's like that. I love her, I always will, nothing will ever change it.
To start; I'm somehow sure that she's told many of her friends about it, and they haven't even gotten the whole story so it looks like I'm the bad guy. That is not to say that she is the bad guy, but that she may have made me out to be the one who caused everything. I'll try to explain the entire situation as best I can, from a neutral standpoint. That is to say that, I don't know what she was thinking at any of these times, so I can not be completely accurate. I'll start from the present and work my way back.
Today, I sent her an e-mail saying how things have looked to me, how her actions and words have made me feel distant and how she seems to have done nothing to help it. Yes, it was a long distance relationship so it took so much more work to make it work. We kept this relationship moving, regardless of how slow or little, for a year and a half. The plan was becoming that I end up in Belgium with her so that we could take this relationship to the lengths we've talked and dreamed about. I started to doubt that it would happen about a month and a half ago, when it felt like she was losing interest in me. (Yes, it hurts to be writing this, I'm coming down to tears, but I don't know who else to tell than the people who are interested in my writing.) Anyway; last week she spent the week rushing up her outfits so that she could go to an expo in London. She spent the entire week sewing and working to make sure the outfits would get finished. For that, i commend her, that takes a lot of dedication. But whenever I would try to talk to her, the conversation; after no more than 20 minutes; came down to "I have to get back to sewing." So of course, what does that mean? I should leave her alone. The hint was pretty obvious. However, she did manage to have time to talk to other people throughout her sewing on IRC; which is a wonderful chat service by the way. She found time to talk to them concerning a game; MapleStory; although it was a private server so people were less restricted to what they could do, and it was a small community so it became easy to know everyone. She would find time to go play the game, even though it was just several minutes, but didn't have time to talk to me. Not to mention that since the beginning of this month and for many weeks further, she never spoke to me unless I initiated the conversation, and I have conversation logs to prove this.
Anyway; she went to the London Expo, and would've been gone this entire weekend. Not getting back until late Sunday. But then she decides to go on a tour of the UK with friends. Add that to the previous week of her barely talking to me, and the idea that she thinks about me, us, and the thought that she loves me, has become blurred a hefty amount. Is it too much to want to feel loved once in a while? To just get some attention to myself? Or does the attention I can get always have to be split between friends?
Before you all go on and start thinking she's to blame for everything; I do have many faults of my own. Although many of you may not know it, I have tremendous trust issues, 'specially when it comes to relationships. None of my relationships have ended on a positive note, and they were pretty much all ended with me being heartbroken because my other did something completely detestable and untrustworthy. Tie into that, the fact that my family doesn't trust me at all because I have a past of stealing. However no one seems to give you room to change, right? They expect what they want to because... I don't even know. My family has dreams and goals for me, and if I don't reach those, I become nothing, and get yelled at. So I've decided that maybe I should just be what everyone thinks I should be. I have a tenacious habit of speaking the truth, knowing people won't believe me, even if I do. What can I say; people don't like the truth when it comes from a bad guy, so the truth gets changed. I suppose I should go back to the way things were, and just lie. But change so much, and lie so hard that my lies become the truth. More on the subject at hand; I have felt that she has been dishonest with me on many occasions, I'd say half of them are justified while the others are just me being paranoid. But I know that it made her feel bad because I know what it feels like to not be trusted. I have a habit of being clingy when something benefits me; and because she was everything I wanted and needed at the time, I clung to her and she hates it when people get clingy. Something that changed, because she hated it so much is that; I used to stick to my words. What I mean by that is; I went EXACTLY by what was said, and would do whatever I had to do to do what was said but twist everything else so that it befitted me. I had to stop that because she hated it when I did that; it drove her insane and she would try to pick out what I would say and make me promise that I would do what she was expecting, not what I or she said.
I'm sure there are many more faults of mine, but since she can also read this, I think she'll make an appearance and say what those are.
She said she likes to manipulate people; so maybe I was just being manipulated. I don't know, but if that is what it took to feel good, then I don't care. Many months ago she used to sing to me. She would sing a particular song that would show me how much she cared. It showed me that she loved me. It was a time when she had no problem saying something like "I'm going to spend time with you today; no one else. So let's have fun!" She used to do things like that, although she wouldn't say those words, but I knew it because she literally spent all her time with me those days, there was no time for anyone else. Our love was at its peak in those times. We could've done anything and it didn't matter because we had each other. And all of you know; I'm a pain in the ass for promises. And she promised me so many things. So instead of being an asshole, and dismissing them or saying she won't hold up to them; I'll wait and see if they come true. She promised that we'll be together forever; in fact she was the first one to say that. So maybe this will work out somehow. You all know of the few months we were apart during the last summer, so maybe it'll be like that. Or maybe I'm holding on to false dreams. Well these dreams make me happy so I'll hold on to them for at long as I live. I love that girl. She could make me smile when I didn't want to. She could push the world out of view and move my vision to just her and I. I know she still cares to some point because she wouldn't have waited this long just for me to break it up, if she didn't love me. So I don't know what's going on in her head but if she was willing to still hold my hand and yell that she loves me from the highest points on the planet so everyone could hear, I'll stay open to that chance.
Shana was my inspiration for just about everything. She's the one who made me believe in impossibles. She made me realize that the world has something better to offer than bullshit and broken dreams. So in a way; yeah, I'm sort of begging for her to come back. But, that's not the right thing to do. I cause her so much trouble and it's because I'm afraid of her doing something that would cost us the relationship. But I know that staying in a relationship where you don't feel loved and you don't get any attention isn't one to stay in. I would still do anything for her, and I still want to go to Belgium to see if this has any chance at all. If not for that, then just for once chance to kiss her and show her how I really feel. I can never show her how I feel; every chance I try, something goes wrong. Mostly I think it's that she takes it up as me just worrying. Or sometimes she has something else to do, so she doesn't have time to let it sink in.
She says that she told her parents that I want to go there and they they would have to pay for some stuff, and somehow... I believe that, but my logic; and damn my logic, I fucking hate it; tells me that maybe she didn't show them how important it was. I just feel like I've given it my all and she's only given 70%. She will always be my everything, and she will always be of the same caliber of as my grandmother. My grandmother, the most important person I look up to in all the world died of heart complications several years ago, and I think I've done my crying for that. She was everything I had, and the only person in the world I looked up to with the most importance. Then came Leo. I put those two people above any other people in the world; they taught me so much, and I still find myself asking for their strength. I tell everyone that I'm going out for a jog late at night, but really I'm just taking time to look up at the stars and ask them for some help. To ask them to help be be strong. Now I suppose I will put Shana in the same place.
PLEASE don't misunderstand; I would love nothing more than to hear Shana's voice and have her tell me that everything is going to be oukay. That she loves me with all her heart and that we will make this work, no matter what we have to do.
Anyway, I do have this feeling that she's told her friends that I broke up with her, but I have this feeling that she left out many details. And left out what has been going on for me to even assume such a thing. I never broke up with her, for those of her friends that read this, because I know that there are a few of you. She just didn't give you the whole truth IF she told you that I broke up with her. If she didn't then, I'm sorry I had to be the one to say all of this, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't hound her about it. It's not her fault; though I do blame her for some of the things that happened, but I am also to blame for many things that happened. So it's not her fault, and it's not my fault. I love my Shana, more than anything in the world. She is my heart and soul. Stupidly... I will wait for the day that she returns. Until then; I will be what everyone expects of me.
If you're reading this Shana; I don't know what you're going to say or do; but I think you'll be mad that I shared personal things with friends. But if I don't have you; they are all I have. So please understand. And understand that I love you. I NEVER could say anything otherwise. these wings will always be close to my heart, because I would never decide that you weren't important to me. I love you my Adorable-Little-Snuggle-Bunny-cupcake-mini-muffin. Slap toesocks. ♥♥
To all of my friends, Grandmother and Leo. Allow me to be weak for a little while. I think I deserve that.
Friday, May 15, 2009
The world I see
In this world, when you get back news you asked to take a seat. Well I want you to stand. Stand against this trivial torment and these endless cycles of depression and murder. Murder leads to depression, depression leads to self doubt, self doubt leads to the doubt of others, and if you trust others, you're all alone. Needless to say it becomes easy to kill someone at that point.
Time x Happiness = Love
Give everything some time and you learn to love it. Take either happiness or time out of the equation and you can't reach it. So why not take some time, and spread some happiness so we can share the love?
It's inevitable that we shall fall, but do you have someone to catch you on the way down? Is there anything that we can do if we have no one? In this world, are you truly suppose to keep your friends close and your enemies closer? If so, could you become the enemies you hate? And if I'm destined to rule, what enemies am I suppose to be keeping close?
Do let it fool you; there are many topics but one point, reach out and grab it, and spin it back to me in the form of a question.
Time x Happiness = Love
Give everything some time and you learn to love it. Take either happiness or time out of the equation and you can't reach it. So why not take some time, and spread some happiness so we can share the love?
It's inevitable that we shall fall, but do you have someone to catch you on the way down? Is there anything that we can do if we have no one? In this world, are you truly suppose to keep your friends close and your enemies closer? If so, could you become the enemies you hate? And if I'm destined to rule, what enemies am I suppose to be keeping close?
Do let it fool you; there are many topics but one point, reach out and grab it, and spin it back to me in the form of a question.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
What do you know?
You know someone loves you when they let you watch them go about their daily tasks. You know they love you when even in pain, they do the little things you enjoy so much. You know someone loves you when even after you've forgotten, they tell you "I promised you this a while ago;"
It's the simple things in life we forget. I dare you to think of 10 simple things that you enjoy that someone special does for you. Right now; go think.
...
...
Done? Was one of them "just spending time with me"? It's something like that that makes me love her so much more. Sure we have our issues and our problems, but every couple does. The difference? We work through them a bit faster.
It's a bit odd to see us in our relationship; no one would understand how it works, but they'd see that we were disgustingly in love. I love the way that whenever I ask what she's doing, her reply is always "Loving you." We find ways to make each other smile even if we're pissed beyond reason, and it's that that I adore. She stands no more than 5' 10" and has no muscle, but she has heart. And she's always up to fight for what she deeply believes in. Even if it's making her boyfriend wear a skirt, or give a cat a boot to the head. I could go on about her forever; honestly. Should I talk about her smile, or the way she dresses?
She not only has heart but she's passionate about her work, whatever 'work' is considered to be at the time, whether it be sewing, fighting a monster in maplestory or dealing with her over protective, jealous, and attention-greedy boyfriend. ♥ It's bliss in these hours that we spend together, and even though it's only hours now; we've still got forever ahead of us.
What do I like most? I learned that today. I found out that even after the close to two years I've known her, I can still make her smile and laugh. I know that you're smiling now, Shana. (Just so you know who it's about) Even though the smile is more like a "Whatever, you're still a loser" -smile, or "Thanks for going off and telling everyone, jerk." -smile. I can't explain it, but to know that after so long, a person can still find true humor and happiness in things you do and say, makes other problems go away. You've never known bliss until you know that what you do makes another person smile; even if they are sick, they have a soar throat, they are constantly coughing IN THE MIDDLE OF READING ME A BOOK.
The entire world is ours to explore. Just trust me and take my hand, I'll take you wherever you want to go. I love you, Baby.
It's the simple things in life we forget. I dare you to think of 10 simple things that you enjoy that someone special does for you. Right now; go think.
...
...
Done? Was one of them "just spending time with me"? It's something like that that makes me love her so much more. Sure we have our issues and our problems, but every couple does. The difference? We work through them a bit faster.
It's a bit odd to see us in our relationship; no one would understand how it works, but they'd see that we were disgustingly in love. I love the way that whenever I ask what she's doing, her reply is always "Loving you." We find ways to make each other smile even if we're pissed beyond reason, and it's that that I adore. She stands no more than 5' 10" and has no muscle, but she has heart. And she's always up to fight for what she deeply believes in. Even if it's making her boyfriend wear a skirt, or give a cat a boot to the head. I could go on about her forever; honestly. Should I talk about her smile, or the way she dresses?
She not only has heart but she's passionate about her work, whatever 'work' is considered to be at the time, whether it be sewing, fighting a monster in maplestory or dealing with her over protective, jealous, and attention-greedy boyfriend. ♥ It's bliss in these hours that we spend together, and even though it's only hours now; we've still got forever ahead of us.
What do I like most? I learned that today. I found out that even after the close to two years I've known her, I can still make her smile and laugh. I know that you're smiling now, Shana. (Just so you know who it's about) Even though the smile is more like a "Whatever, you're still a loser" -smile, or "Thanks for going off and telling everyone, jerk." -smile. I can't explain it, but to know that after so long, a person can still find true humor and happiness in things you do and say, makes other problems go away. You've never known bliss until you know that what you do makes another person smile; even if they are sick, they have a soar throat, they are constantly coughing IN THE MIDDLE OF READING ME A BOOK.
The entire world is ours to explore. Just trust me and take my hand, I'll take you wherever you want to go. I love you, Baby.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Terror
Have you ever felt like even though you have everything in the world, you have nothing at all? Like the universe is in the palm of your hand but it's a fragile, hollow glass ball. Do you hold on tighter as to not drop it to let it shatter, but risk cracking it? Or do you hold it gentle and risk it slipping through your fingers?
The world is a violent, horrid place where even the unimaginable is possible. Where even when you think you know something, you are guaranteed to know nothing at all. Physics states that because of gravity, objects are destined to fall towards the earth so long as they are within it's pull. What would it mean if one time, in front of the right person or group of people, an object fell... Up? Would it shatter everything we know and perceive as the limitations of our existence? I'd like to think so. But what if it was something even more simple that just shook the foundations of your soul? What if you came home one day to learn that the parent(s) [You choose], murdered and destroyed everything you own, when just hours easier they told you they love you and want nothing more than your happiness? What if you came home one day to find everything on fire, one that was started by your most trusted and valued friend? There was no pre-anything. No argument prior, no misunderstandings, nothing; pick a scenario and actually accept the possibility of it randomly happening. What would you do? How would you feel?
What if something completely precious to you vanished/left/went missing(In any form, depending on what it is) without any logical reason? How do you deal with it? What do you do?
Care to share your questions or thoughts? Please do in your comment~
The world is a violent, horrid place where even the unimaginable is possible. Where even when you think you know something, you are guaranteed to know nothing at all. Physics states that because of gravity, objects are destined to fall towards the earth so long as they are within it's pull. What would it mean if one time, in front of the right person or group of people, an object fell... Up? Would it shatter everything we know and perceive as the limitations of our existence? I'd like to think so. But what if it was something even more simple that just shook the foundations of your soul? What if you came home one day to learn that the parent(s) [You choose], murdered and destroyed everything you own, when just hours easier they told you they love you and want nothing more than your happiness? What if you came home one day to find everything on fire, one that was started by your most trusted and valued friend? There was no pre-anything. No argument prior, no misunderstandings, nothing; pick a scenario and actually accept the possibility of it randomly happening. What would you do? How would you feel?
What if something completely precious to you vanished/left/went missing(In any form, depending on what it is) without any logical reason? How do you deal with it? What do you do?
Care to share your questions or thoughts? Please do in your comment~
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Neglect~
I know that I've been denying you people with my tales of adventure, but I've been somewhat busy and just had to deal with a bunch of stuff; so for all of you, I have a surprise. I am going to tell you a somewhat long, metaphoric/interpretive story. I hope you like it!
Once upon a time, there was a small tree growing in a small clearing. Surrounded by trees, just meters away, the small tree never felt alone. However every other tree had opinions on how the small tree should grow. If it should become an oak, a maple, redwood, or even pine tree, but the tree just wished it could become something all on it's own. But the lack of free thought, the lack of the acceptance of his own ideas and goals made him shun the idea. But just like a miracle, there was always one tree, the oldest of the bunch, who would move its branches to let the glorious sun shine down on small tree. This tree knew how important it was to be different; to want to be your own and have other trees love you just for that; but shortly after wonderful lessons from the eldest tree, it did die. Leaving the small tree all on its own, it did continue to grow but it still had no colour to it's leaves like the others. The lavish shades of greens had all faded to grays and whites, and although the tree wanted to be something unique, it just grew into a bigger tree, as the others wanted it to; still having no definite type.
It was after all this time that the, now grown, tree noticed all the small flowers and different grasses that grew around it. All of these things praised and adored the tree in all of its times of need. They would tell the tree how important he was, how his ideas were fantastic and that nothing should get in the way of what he wished for. Its leaves began to have a blue tint; much to the other trees displeasure. The blue tree decided that this world was made for it, and all the other trees drove it from its goal. But it was on the celebration of the grand trees that the blue tree saw a most wonderful rose growing at its roots. The rose was shy, smaller than normal roses, but miraculously captivated the blue tree that day.
Months past, and the roots of the blue tree and the rose became entangled. The blue tree rubbed off on the small rose and the rose had impacted the blue tree as well. The rose was gorgeous shades of pink and blue, and the tree was the same. The blue-pink tree would protect the rose from all sorts of dangerous weather; too much sunlight so it wouldn't get too hot, and the cold snow, so it didn't freeze. The rose, in turn, seemed to take all the life and nutrients from all the other flowers that grew around the blue tree. It was terribly cute, but all the other flowers said it was selfish and greedy, and there was one particular flower, a monkey flower that grew close to the tree, but the rose practically obliterated it, but left it to life because the rose decided that living without the blue tree was much more punishment than death.
More months past and it was when the blue tree decided that it was time for it to finally decide what kind of tree it would be, that it discovered that the other trees were against the blue tree and the rose being so close. The blue tree believed that the rose was perfect just where it was and would destroy anything that stood against them. The rose, though tiny, was tremendously powerful, it could take down some of the trees, but had no chance against the blue tree. All the blue tree had to do was use its roots to tickle the rose and it would give up. Alas, their battle was about to begin, because the blue tree was about to deal with all of the other trees, and their dislike in its color, the tree it wants to become, and the fact that it loved this rose.
END
Deal with the corny, and LOVE IT! :B
Once upon a time, there was a small tree growing in a small clearing. Surrounded by trees, just meters away, the small tree never felt alone. However every other tree had opinions on how the small tree should grow. If it should become an oak, a maple, redwood, or even pine tree, but the tree just wished it could become something all on it's own. But the lack of free thought, the lack of the acceptance of his own ideas and goals made him shun the idea. But just like a miracle, there was always one tree, the oldest of the bunch, who would move its branches to let the glorious sun shine down on small tree. This tree knew how important it was to be different; to want to be your own and have other trees love you just for that; but shortly after wonderful lessons from the eldest tree, it did die. Leaving the small tree all on its own, it did continue to grow but it still had no colour to it's leaves like the others. The lavish shades of greens had all faded to grays and whites, and although the tree wanted to be something unique, it just grew into a bigger tree, as the others wanted it to; still having no definite type.
It was after all this time that the, now grown, tree noticed all the small flowers and different grasses that grew around it. All of these things praised and adored the tree in all of its times of need. They would tell the tree how important he was, how his ideas were fantastic and that nothing should get in the way of what he wished for. Its leaves began to have a blue tint; much to the other trees displeasure. The blue tree decided that this world was made for it, and all the other trees drove it from its goal. But it was on the celebration of the grand trees that the blue tree saw a most wonderful rose growing at its roots. The rose was shy, smaller than normal roses, but miraculously captivated the blue tree that day.
Months past, and the roots of the blue tree and the rose became entangled. The blue tree rubbed off on the small rose and the rose had impacted the blue tree as well. The rose was gorgeous shades of pink and blue, and the tree was the same. The blue-pink tree would protect the rose from all sorts of dangerous weather; too much sunlight so it wouldn't get too hot, and the cold snow, so it didn't freeze. The rose, in turn, seemed to take all the life and nutrients from all the other flowers that grew around the blue tree. It was terribly cute, but all the other flowers said it was selfish and greedy, and there was one particular flower, a monkey flower that grew close to the tree, but the rose practically obliterated it, but left it to life because the rose decided that living without the blue tree was much more punishment than death.
More months past and it was when the blue tree decided that it was time for it to finally decide what kind of tree it would be, that it discovered that the other trees were against the blue tree and the rose being so close. The blue tree believed that the rose was perfect just where it was and would destroy anything that stood against them. The rose, though tiny, was tremendously powerful, it could take down some of the trees, but had no chance against the blue tree. All the blue tree had to do was use its roots to tickle the rose and it would give up. Alas, their battle was about to begin, because the blue tree was about to deal with all of the other trees, and their dislike in its color, the tree it wants to become, and the fact that it loved this rose.
END
Deal with the corny, and LOVE IT! :B
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Project: SJAwesome!
Oukay! I need any or all of you to help out with a particular project of mine... It's called; Project SJAwsome. The purpose of this project? To assist Shana and I on our road to stardom! Don't bother ask for details on how this helps us, but my goal thus far is to get 50 signs! You heard me right; SIGNS. Rules are simple; it has to be a picture not created or edited on a computer, it has to contain a sign with "Sja" on it, in any creative way you choose, or non creative. You can email me your submission at Dazeonae@gmail.com OR get it to me by any other means that you know of.
Completely submissions are posted up at: http://sjawesome.synthasite.com/
As I said, my goal is 50. And once we reach that, we'll go ever higher! We'll be famous SOMEHOW! You'll see. And somehow you will be compensated for what you've done for us! With my current TWO submissions; myself and Reyna, I'm a little upset being I asked a bunch of people tonight BUT, everything starts out slow.
Seeing as how I want to inspire hope in a lot of you; I figure that I'll tell you plans that I thought up immediately that I have NO CLUE on how to get going!
Plan 1: Get 250+ Signs
Plan 2: Go to at least 5 conventions/Expos and advertise Project: SJAwesome.
Plan3: Get 600+ Signs
Plan 4: Go on a cross country road trip with Project: SJAwesome!!!!
Plan 5: Take. It. Global.
Plan 6: Get 1500+ Signs
Plan 7: We're already famous by now; so whatever we want!
Plan 8: Make more plans!
(Optional) Plan (?): Ask you for more plan ideas!
It'll be awesome! I'll hold Project: SJAwesome contests and lots of col stuff! So help out if you can!
Completely submissions are posted up at: http://sjawesome.synthasite.com/
As I said, my goal is 50. And once we reach that, we'll go ever higher! We'll be famous SOMEHOW! You'll see. And somehow you will be compensated for what you've done for us! With my current TWO submissions; myself and Reyna, I'm a little upset being I asked a bunch of people tonight BUT, everything starts out slow.
Seeing as how I want to inspire hope in a lot of you; I figure that I'll tell you plans that I thought up immediately that I have NO CLUE on how to get going!
Plan 1: Get 250+ Signs
Plan 2: Go to at least 5 conventions/Expos and advertise Project: SJAwesome.
Plan3: Get 600+ Signs
Plan 4: Go on a cross country road trip with Project: SJAwesome!!!!
Plan 5: Take. It. Global.
Plan 6: Get 1500+ Signs
Plan 7: We're already famous by now; so whatever we want!
Plan 8: Make more plans!
(Optional) Plan (?): Ask you for more plan ideas!
It'll be awesome! I'll hold Project: SJAwesome contests and lots of col stuff! So help out if you can!
Monday, March 2, 2009
Reality
It's you and me, moving at the speed of light through our reality of unforeseeable dangers and known unknown sadness. We all know that forever and eternity await us at the end, and I'll take you there. It seems I've waited my whole life just to meet you and do this. It feels like our love is on a whole new level than those around us, and happiness is just a smile away. Everyone is afraid to fall and that's why holding each other prevents this. Falling together is the only other option; and when we hit the bottom; you'll still be my beautiful lady; amongst the dirt and gravel of our shattered choices and mistakes; if we can bear with the pain, we can make it to infinity.
But how in a world where people aren't capable of watching the smallest of leaves sway in the wind, the ripples on the surface of the water, the cracking and trembling of the world beneath their own feet; am I suppose to take a step and not leave others behind? These impossible choices that someone should not have to make, these life altering places that a person shouldn't have to be; the simplistic idea that the world revolves around me and that the entire fate of the human race and all others rests on my shoulders, are a daily reminder that I am meant for something more than what I do.
As a man walks through his days, constantly barraged with the denial of his family and friends, nothing he says ever is the right answer or invokes any sort of positive emotion. These days bend and twist his beliefs until he is no longer capable of the miracles that he was so accustomed to making. When every last person, although friendly and loving to his face, keeps a secret so they never truly mean what they say. And each and every night he goes to sleep and wakes up to a different reality that even more negative. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse; right?
Broken on the inside; cracked on the out. A record of responses, and moods is all I am. I'll drown out here in this ocean not made of my tears, but of the tears of the world around me; the sweat of their labor. Who will save me? Would you just say that you'll save me or will you actually lend your hand? Will you then let me lean on you to get back on my feet?
I'm lost. Find me.
But how in a world where people aren't capable of watching the smallest of leaves sway in the wind, the ripples on the surface of the water, the cracking and trembling of the world beneath their own feet; am I suppose to take a step and not leave others behind? These impossible choices that someone should not have to make, these life altering places that a person shouldn't have to be; the simplistic idea that the world revolves around me and that the entire fate of the human race and all others rests on my shoulders, are a daily reminder that I am meant for something more than what I do.
As a man walks through his days, constantly barraged with the denial of his family and friends, nothing he says ever is the right answer or invokes any sort of positive emotion. These days bend and twist his beliefs until he is no longer capable of the miracles that he was so accustomed to making. When every last person, although friendly and loving to his face, keeps a secret so they never truly mean what they say. And each and every night he goes to sleep and wakes up to a different reality that even more negative. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse; right?
Broken on the inside; cracked on the out. A record of responses, and moods is all I am. I'll drown out here in this ocean not made of my tears, but of the tears of the world around me; the sweat of their labor. Who will save me? Would you just say that you'll save me or will you actually lend your hand? Will you then let me lean on you to get back on my feet?
I'm lost. Find me.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Paradise - Part 3 [Short]
Ell woke in a bit of a daze, the night before wasn't something she was going to forget anytime soon. She climbed out of the bed, clinging the bedsheet to her chest as if she had something to hide from someone. Her legs quaked a bit and she collapsed to her knees, putting a hand on the ground to hold herself steady. Nothing but a giggle escaped her lips as she looked over at Vin snoozing on the bed, he was quite rough, just as lust should be.
She stood again, and her legs quaked again as well. She managed to get over to the window and lean against the wall as her head dropped forward and her rolled back; she could feel continuous small eruptions just below her stomach; pure pleasure and bliss. She finally moved herself to open the window just a bit. She lived in a somewhat small apartment with no air-conditioning and the air in her room had gotten a little stale. Ell shuffled back over to the bed and quickly spread the sheet over Vin and herself. It was early morning, the sun hadn't risen yet and still she could see Vin just as clearly as if it had. She traced nonsensical designs on his arm and lifted the blanket to do the same on his chest.
"I love you so much." She whispered; blushing heavily at the various ideas of things she could do to him whilst he sleep. Those very thoughts made her heart pound in her chest and her legs became restless. Her finger snaked shyly down his chest and onto his stomach, where she paused to watch his facial reactions. He didn't wake, just stirred a bit and snuggled against the bed. Ell blushed heavier and continued her finger down her lover's body biting her lip when she took hold of his shaft. Her eyes faded half-closed as he came to full attention in her hand. She wanted to go for a 4th round and just as she began to shift beneath the sheet, he rolled over to his other side and began to snore.
Ell gaped her mouth and made a dissatisfied face. It was truly upsetting; so she 'humphed' and turned her back to him as well; but smiled because once again, he was close to her.
She stood again, and her legs quaked again as well. She managed to get over to the window and lean against the wall as her head dropped forward and her rolled back; she could feel continuous small eruptions just below her stomach; pure pleasure and bliss. She finally moved herself to open the window just a bit. She lived in a somewhat small apartment with no air-conditioning and the air in her room had gotten a little stale. Ell shuffled back over to the bed and quickly spread the sheet over Vin and herself. It was early morning, the sun hadn't risen yet and still she could see Vin just as clearly as if it had. She traced nonsensical designs on his arm and lifted the blanket to do the same on his chest.
"I love you so much." She whispered; blushing heavily at the various ideas of things she could do to him whilst he sleep. Those very thoughts made her heart pound in her chest and her legs became restless. Her finger snaked shyly down his chest and onto his stomach, where she paused to watch his facial reactions. He didn't wake, just stirred a bit and snuggled against the bed. Ell blushed heavier and continued her finger down her lover's body biting her lip when she took hold of his shaft. Her eyes faded half-closed as he came to full attention in her hand. She wanted to go for a 4th round and just as she began to shift beneath the sheet, he rolled over to his other side and began to snore.
Ell gaped her mouth and made a dissatisfied face. It was truly upsetting; so she 'humphed' and turned her back to him as well; but smiled because once again, he was close to her.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Series of questions.
Just answer then in a comment.
Some of them are just to see how well you know me?
Who are you to me?
How close are we?
What's my favorite colour?
Who's my favorite video game character?
When's my birthday?
What's the oddest mannerism you think I have?
What's my favorite time of day?
What's my favorite type of bladed weapon?
What's my best feature?
What's the stupidest thing I ever did?
How much cash-money do I carry on me at any given time?
Do you like me?
Do you love me?
Would you touch me?
If you had one day to spend with me, how would you spend it?
If you had $50 to buy me a present, what would you get me?
What's the most precious thing I've done for you?
What do I do that drives you insane?
Are you tired of answering these stupid questions?
If I had to make you something; what do you think it would be?
What do I think about the world?
Will I rule it?
What's something I say a lot?
What's something I say too much?
What's something I don't say enough?
What mood am I in most of the time?
What mood of mine do you favor most?
Would you let me kill you?
Would you kill me?
Could you kill me?
If you had to choose, would you sacrifice yourself for me?
Would you let me sacrifice myself for you?
Do you think I'd do it regardless of your answer?
What's my favorite article of clothing?
What's my biggest hobby?
What's my least favorite thing to do?
What's mt worst feature?
What type of dances do I most prefer?
How many different dance styles do I know?
Can I sing?
What's my favorite emotion?
What's my favorite song?
Where do I live?
If I said; "Move like a boomerang, go on out, and bring it on back." What would you say/do?
If I was to touch you, where would you want me to touch you?
Where would I touch you, regardless of what you wanted?
Would the 'touch' actually be a punch or kick?
What position is my 'thinking' position?
What's my thinking word?
Shana: How much do I love you?
These questions were generated by a random question generator. Except that last one.
Some of them are just to see how well you know me?
Who are you to me?
How close are we?
What's my favorite colour?
Who's my favorite video game character?
When's my birthday?
What's the oddest mannerism you think I have?
What's my favorite time of day?
What's my favorite type of bladed weapon?
What's my best feature?
What's the stupidest thing I ever did?
How much cash-money do I carry on me at any given time?
Do you like me?
Do you love me?
Would you touch me?
If you had one day to spend with me, how would you spend it?
If you had $50 to buy me a present, what would you get me?
What's the most precious thing I've done for you?
What do I do that drives you insane?
Are you tired of answering these stupid questions?
If I had to make you something; what do you think it would be?
What do I think about the world?
Will I rule it?
What's something I say a lot?
What's something I say too much?
What's something I don't say enough?
What mood am I in most of the time?
What mood of mine do you favor most?
Would you let me kill you?
Would you kill me?
Could you kill me?
If you had to choose, would you sacrifice yourself for me?
Would you let me sacrifice myself for you?
Do you think I'd do it regardless of your answer?
What's my favorite article of clothing?
What's my biggest hobby?
What's my least favorite thing to do?
What's mt worst feature?
What type of dances do I most prefer?
How many different dance styles do I know?
Can I sing?
What's my favorite emotion?
What's my favorite song?
Where do I live?
If I said; "Move like a boomerang, go on out, and bring it on back." What would you say/do?
If I was to touch you, where would you want me to touch you?
Where would I touch you, regardless of what you wanted?
Would the 'touch' actually be a punch or kick?
What position is my 'thinking' position?
What's my thinking word?
Shana: How much do I love you?
These questions were generated by a random question generator. Except that last one.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day
Well, it's the one day of the year that reminds you of only one of two things. You're with someone and you're loving it, or you're single and are clearly aware of it now.
Whatever it may be for you, Happy 'whatever' Day!
But this particular post is for my special girl. And things that I feel she should know.
"We didn't meet 'later' we met now. That should mean something."
I said that not to soon again, right? Well I'm glad that I didn't have to use it for it's intended purpose. Through all of our problems we managed to work through them and we're still happy. I now live in this beautiful world because of you and I can't imagine it any other way. We've spent some amazing days together and even though it's only been a short while in how long we wish this to last, I know what's going to happen next and I can't wait. Things can only get better. Well... You call me stupid so they may get a little worse before they get better but, whatever~
I love you, Dear. And I want to tell you something special. I know that sometimes you feel like I don't let you in. I understand that it upsets and frustrates you but please know that it's just a personal issue. You know I've grown up with very strict rules and have had a tough life just as you have. You know that in my household it's always been THINK before you act, and you're the exact opposite. Everything in my life required caution, moments of thought, silence, order, and work and business. There wasn't much time for feelings and cute things so it's hard for me to get used to showing these things. Honestly, in the past we've had, I opened up to you a lot more than I would've ever expected, and I'm not completely open only because it's scary to allow yourself to be vulnerable with another. But over these past months, I'm learning that it's oukay. I, like every man, had/have wild and crazy fantasies and dreams I want to happen; but I know that if I push you away and run, I won't ever have this happiness again. So I've forgotten all about it.
We've got such plans for the future and I want them to come true. Forever is a long time and if you're really up to that, then... Wow. You're not as weak as you keep saying you are. Those three words that are so amazing to hear keep ringing in my ears and it makes me feel ouh so special. But enough of this, I love you, Precious. And I hope this Valentine's Day means something special.
<3
Whatever it may be for you, Happy 'whatever' Day!
But this particular post is for my special girl. And things that I feel she should know.
"We didn't meet 'later' we met now. That should mean something."
I said that not to soon again, right? Well I'm glad that I didn't have to use it for it's intended purpose. Through all of our problems we managed to work through them and we're still happy. I now live in this beautiful world because of you and I can't imagine it any other way. We've spent some amazing days together and even though it's only been a short while in how long we wish this to last, I know what's going to happen next and I can't wait. Things can only get better. Well... You call me stupid so they may get a little worse before they get better but, whatever~
I love you, Dear. And I want to tell you something special. I know that sometimes you feel like I don't let you in. I understand that it upsets and frustrates you but please know that it's just a personal issue. You know I've grown up with very strict rules and have had a tough life just as you have. You know that in my household it's always been THINK before you act, and you're the exact opposite. Everything in my life required caution, moments of thought, silence, order, and work and business. There wasn't much time for feelings and cute things so it's hard for me to get used to showing these things. Honestly, in the past we've had, I opened up to you a lot more than I would've ever expected, and I'm not completely open only because it's scary to allow yourself to be vulnerable with another. But over these past months, I'm learning that it's oukay. I, like every man, had/have wild and crazy fantasies and dreams I want to happen; but I know that if I push you away and run, I won't ever have this happiness again. So I've forgotten all about it.
We've got such plans for the future and I want them to come true. Forever is a long time and if you're really up to that, then... Wow. You're not as weak as you keep saying you are. Those three words that are so amazing to hear keep ringing in my ears and it makes me feel ouh so special. But enough of this, I love you, Precious. And I hope this Valentine's Day means something special.
<3
Thursday, February 12, 2009
When life falls into Perspective
When you start to notice how short life is; when you start to notice each and every item around your existence, and you hold each and ever person you have closer to your heart; what is when your life has fallen into true perspective. When ever morning you wake up wondering if it's your own time, if you should even bother continue life when others never got to choose.
If you knew when your love one(s) were going to pass away, would you make their last day so much more special just because of that? Would you not cry because you knew this was going to happen? Would you try to prevent it and break upon failure, or not try at all? It's true; you don't know what you've got until it's gone. When you lose something precious you learn just how important it was to you. What do you do once it gone? How long do you mourn the loss? Is it wrong to cry forever? Each and every thing in this world has it's place. Then each and every one of those things has a place in your heart. When you lose something that can not be replaced, what do you use to fill the void? Can you even fill it?
When you lay in bed at night, reminiscing about wonderful times, great things, and things you shouldn't have done; what can you use as a cure for the pain? My cure? Just to be held. But not just by anyone. One special person. But in moments when you can't have your cure, what's the next best thing? Sit in pain and misery, dragging down the moods of everyone around you, or fake a smile and at least seem happy? How long would you let me cry? Minutes? Hours? Days? Weeks?
All I can tell myself is that it's only pain, and it'll fade. But is that fair to myself? Where in this darkness is my light? I have saved the world, but who will come to save me? It's a pain deeper than any bullet or blade could reach; can you hear me cry?
If you knew when your love one(s) were going to pass away, would you make their last day so much more special just because of that? Would you not cry because you knew this was going to happen? Would you try to prevent it and break upon failure, or not try at all? It's true; you don't know what you've got until it's gone. When you lose something precious you learn just how important it was to you. What do you do once it gone? How long do you mourn the loss? Is it wrong to cry forever? Each and every thing in this world has it's place. Then each and every one of those things has a place in your heart. When you lose something that can not be replaced, what do you use to fill the void? Can you even fill it?
When you lay in bed at night, reminiscing about wonderful times, great things, and things you shouldn't have done; what can you use as a cure for the pain? My cure? Just to be held. But not just by anyone. One special person. But in moments when you can't have your cure, what's the next best thing? Sit in pain and misery, dragging down the moods of everyone around you, or fake a smile and at least seem happy? How long would you let me cry? Minutes? Hours? Days? Weeks?
All I can tell myself is that it's only pain, and it'll fade. But is that fair to myself? Where in this darkness is my light? I have saved the world, but who will come to save me? It's a pain deeper than any bullet or blade could reach; can you hear me cry?
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Paradise - Part 2 of Untitled Story
[PARDON THE TYPOS]
Part 2 of the previously Untitled Story. Titled thanks to Shana.
Thoughts, comments, words of praise? Tell me! D<
The two took each others hand and proceeded towards the food court in the mall. The comfort of bliss filling their hearts made it easy to walk with a smile, and quick pace. Ell locked her arm in Vin's by the time they got half-way there, and and looked up at him, biting her bottom lip. She was just begging for another kiss since their last was rudely interrupted. Vin returned her gaze when they stood in the center of the food court, surrounded by tables.
"Ell, I-"
She shook her head and lightly smiled,leaning her body closer to his in relaxation. There was another moment of silence, but this one was peaceful. Finally, Vin leaned into her and pushed her against one of the tables and claimed her lips in what she felt was the most ferocious kiss she'd ever had. In shock and confusion she opened her eyed wide, but her body seemed to know what was going on; her hands slithered up his stomach and onto his chest where she grabbed handfuls of his shirt. After a moment her mind settled and her eyes relaxed as she was eased onto the table and pushed into a laying position. Vin only caressed her body with his eyes before returning to her lips.
His hands took her wrists and placed them above her head comfortably; his right hand pinned them down, and even though she pushed against him, she did not want to be released. Vin's teeth sank into her collar bone, and Ell let out a soft cry and arched her chest into his body. As Vin assaulted her neck and collar-area, she writhed, not knowing which part of her body wanted to touch him but that she just wanted to feel him. Vin paused and snickered at the expression on her face; it was a panicked look but so serene and content. Her body continued to writhe and dance as he looked at her and when her eyes met his once again, she quickly looked off to the side and noticed a growing crowd of people staring. She gasped.
"Ell? What's wrong?"
She 'eeped' and shut her eyes tight in a heavy blush. "Look!"
Vin picked up his head and looked around at the, now, full food court of spectators. He couldn't help but blush as well. He released Ell, and they both stood, straightening out their clothing and clearing their throats.
Ell took a moment to laugh when she pointed out Vin's clearly noticeable erection, to which he cleared his throat again and tried to pull his shirt down lower. Ell grabbed his hand and rushed out of the mall. They've had enough embarrassment for today, they'd be better off getting some place more secluded; she thought.
"We'll take my car." She stated before rushing over to her small red sports car.
"What's about mine? Wouldn't it be better if I just followed you?"
She grabbed his cheeks and forced their lips together for a solid kiss. Vin widened his eyed and kept them so through the kiss. Ell broke the kiss and opened the passenger side door, without saying a word. Vin just blinked a few times then politely climbed into the car. Ell giggled in victory, closed the door and rushed over to the driver's side, climbing in the car and shoving the key in the ignition.
"Vin?"
He looked over at her without saying a word. Ell placed both hands on the steering wheel and looked directly into it's center. She didn't speak but knew he kept his eyes on her. Another moment passed and at it's end she swiftly grabbed his closest hand and slammed it onto her chest. She gasped in excitement and turned to look at him and his new surprised and confused look; she couldn't help but laugh and after doing so, she kissed him and started the car.
"We'll pick up your car tomorrow morning."
The door to Ell's apartment flung open and slammed against the wall and the two fell in, entwined in arms, lips locked. They tussled, still standing, in as they grind the wall, taking the key out of the door, closing and locking it without paying attention. Vin pushed her more firmly against the wall before parting her legs and picked her up by her thighs. Like a dance, they spun around in sheer bliss, carelessly knocking things over, the phone, a plastic vase, a picture frame on the wall, a small table; they didn't stop to pick anything up but instead headed straight for the bedroom in their tangled mess of love.
"Ell, what're we doing?"
She put a finger over his lips as he dropped her on the edge of the bed. "Don't say a word, don't think, just let the moment take hold."
He did just that, and pushed her over with the force of his kiss, putting her back into the same hold he had her in on the mall table. She didn't resist this time, but instead let out silent moans to each of his bites and kisses. Vin stood for a moment and taking the hint, Ell copied him in quickly removing her clothes.
Ell climbed to the head of the bed and laid with one arm across her chest covering what she could, and her other crossed to the center of her body with her hand between her thighs as if she was denying him his prize. He smirked and turned around.
"Where are you going!?" She quickly boasted.
"Nowhere. Just had to see your reaction." He walked over to the bedroom door and closed it with a warm smile on his face. Nothing would be better than tonight.
Part 2 of the previously Untitled Story. Titled thanks to Shana.
Thoughts, comments, words of praise? Tell me! D<
The two took each others hand and proceeded towards the food court in the mall. The comfort of bliss filling their hearts made it easy to walk with a smile, and quick pace. Ell locked her arm in Vin's by the time they got half-way there, and and looked up at him, biting her bottom lip. She was just begging for another kiss since their last was rudely interrupted. Vin returned her gaze when they stood in the center of the food court, surrounded by tables.
"Ell, I-"
She shook her head and lightly smiled,leaning her body closer to his in relaxation. There was another moment of silence, but this one was peaceful. Finally, Vin leaned into her and pushed her against one of the tables and claimed her lips in what she felt was the most ferocious kiss she'd ever had. In shock and confusion she opened her eyed wide, but her body seemed to know what was going on; her hands slithered up his stomach and onto his chest where she grabbed handfuls of his shirt. After a moment her mind settled and her eyes relaxed as she was eased onto the table and pushed into a laying position. Vin only caressed her body with his eyes before returning to her lips.
His hands took her wrists and placed them above her head comfortably; his right hand pinned them down, and even though she pushed against him, she did not want to be released. Vin's teeth sank into her collar bone, and Ell let out a soft cry and arched her chest into his body. As Vin assaulted her neck and collar-area, she writhed, not knowing which part of her body wanted to touch him but that she just wanted to feel him. Vin paused and snickered at the expression on her face; it was a panicked look but so serene and content. Her body continued to writhe and dance as he looked at her and when her eyes met his once again, she quickly looked off to the side and noticed a growing crowd of people staring. She gasped.
"Ell? What's wrong?"
She 'eeped' and shut her eyes tight in a heavy blush. "Look!"
Vin picked up his head and looked around at the, now, full food court of spectators. He couldn't help but blush as well. He released Ell, and they both stood, straightening out their clothing and clearing their throats.
Ell took a moment to laugh when she pointed out Vin's clearly noticeable erection, to which he cleared his throat again and tried to pull his shirt down lower. Ell grabbed his hand and rushed out of the mall. They've had enough embarrassment for today, they'd be better off getting some place more secluded; she thought.
"We'll take my car." She stated before rushing over to her small red sports car.
"What's about mine? Wouldn't it be better if I just followed you?"
She grabbed his cheeks and forced their lips together for a solid kiss. Vin widened his eyed and kept them so through the kiss. Ell broke the kiss and opened the passenger side door, without saying a word. Vin just blinked a few times then politely climbed into the car. Ell giggled in victory, closed the door and rushed over to the driver's side, climbing in the car and shoving the key in the ignition.
"Vin?"
He looked over at her without saying a word. Ell placed both hands on the steering wheel and looked directly into it's center. She didn't speak but knew he kept his eyes on her. Another moment passed and at it's end she swiftly grabbed his closest hand and slammed it onto her chest. She gasped in excitement and turned to look at him and his new surprised and confused look; she couldn't help but laugh and after doing so, she kissed him and started the car.
"We'll pick up your car tomorrow morning."
The door to Ell's apartment flung open and slammed against the wall and the two fell in, entwined in arms, lips locked. They tussled, still standing, in as they grind the wall, taking the key out of the door, closing and locking it without paying attention. Vin pushed her more firmly against the wall before parting her legs and picked her up by her thighs. Like a dance, they spun around in sheer bliss, carelessly knocking things over, the phone, a plastic vase, a picture frame on the wall, a small table; they didn't stop to pick anything up but instead headed straight for the bedroom in their tangled mess of love.
"Ell, what're we doing?"
She put a finger over his lips as he dropped her on the edge of the bed. "Don't say a word, don't think, just let the moment take hold."
He did just that, and pushed her over with the force of his kiss, putting her back into the same hold he had her in on the mall table. She didn't resist this time, but instead let out silent moans to each of his bites and kisses. Vin stood for a moment and taking the hint, Ell copied him in quickly removing her clothes.
Ell climbed to the head of the bed and laid with one arm across her chest covering what she could, and her other crossed to the center of her body with her hand between her thighs as if she was denying him his prize. He smirked and turned around.
"Where are you going!?" She quickly boasted.
"Nowhere. Just had to see your reaction." He walked over to the bedroom door and closed it with a warm smile on his face. Nothing would be better than tonight.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Untitled Story 2
You will just have to pardon the typos and grammar mistakes, mm'kay? This is a part of a story I'd been writing, and I'd like feedback of all sorts.
“I can’t help but feel alive, there’s nothing else in the world that makes me feel this free.” Ell clasped Vin’s hand in hers and pulled it to her chest. “Don’t be afraid, it’s only love.”
Vin pulled away lightly but held onto her hand for comfort. “Love is never easy, there could be times when I make you miserable, and times when nothing works out for us, times when we need time apart and that time apart might make us separate completely.”
Ell lowered her head a bit, and with a lack of words coming to mind, she rushed him, and wrapped her arms ferociously around him, digging her nails into his back, pouring her tears into his chest. “Why can’t you just trust that we’ll be okay? Why can’t you just let me love you? Everything has a variable, or a downside, you never just let us, be.” Her words bounced around in his head as his past crashed like waves in his mind.
Ell lifted her head from his chest to look him in the eye. Her tears were wiped away by a soft touch that she couldn’t help but nuzzle into. Although his tan-face was always heartwarming, it was an eerie emptiness she felt, looking into his eyes. There was an unimaginable tension between the two but they didn’t want to look away from one another. Her soft eyes filled once again with tears, as her cheeks puffed, and her mouth wriggled, he took a deep breath and simultaneously they turned away from each other and took a half step apart, the only thing binding them together was their intertwined pinkies; preventing them from going any further. Ell pulled her unoccupied hand to her chin in a soft fist, trying to prevent her tears.
There was a moment of silence that felt like hours before Vin break it with a deep breath. “I love you.”
“I know. That’s why this is so hard on me.” Ell replied
The two came together in one fluid motion and locked lips, the kiss itself lasted forever in their hearts but the real moment was shattered by a child who from a distance, obnoxiously yelled, “Ew, gross!” Ell and Vin parted and laughed with each other through tears.
“I can’t help but feel alive, there’s nothing else in the world that makes me feel this free.” Ell clasped Vin’s hand in hers and pulled it to her chest. “Don’t be afraid, it’s only love.”
Vin pulled away lightly but held onto her hand for comfort. “Love is never easy, there could be times when I make you miserable, and times when nothing works out for us, times when we need time apart and that time apart might make us separate completely.”
Ell lowered her head a bit, and with a lack of words coming to mind, she rushed him, and wrapped her arms ferociously around him, digging her nails into his back, pouring her tears into his chest. “Why can’t you just trust that we’ll be okay? Why can’t you just let me love you? Everything has a variable, or a downside, you never just let us, be.” Her words bounced around in his head as his past crashed like waves in his mind.
Ell lifted her head from his chest to look him in the eye. Her tears were wiped away by a soft touch that she couldn’t help but nuzzle into. Although his tan-face was always heartwarming, it was an eerie emptiness she felt, looking into his eyes. There was an unimaginable tension between the two but they didn’t want to look away from one another. Her soft eyes filled once again with tears, as her cheeks puffed, and her mouth wriggled, he took a deep breath and simultaneously they turned away from each other and took a half step apart, the only thing binding them together was their intertwined pinkies; preventing them from going any further. Ell pulled her unoccupied hand to her chin in a soft fist, trying to prevent her tears.
There was a moment of silence that felt like hours before Vin break it with a deep breath. “I love you.”
“I know. That’s why this is so hard on me.” Ell replied
The two came together in one fluid motion and locked lips, the kiss itself lasted forever in their hearts but the real moment was shattered by a child who from a distance, obnoxiously yelled, “Ew, gross!” Ell and Vin parted and laughed with each other through tears.
Men vs. Women
Here is a small guide to understanding women and why you (men) fail at... Women.
I'll start with rules, and explanations, and get on other methods and techniques and stuff that prove that men are better.
Rule 1: Don't argue with a woman. You never win, it's impossible. Follow to Two-hitter rule.
Rule 2: When she asks "Do I look good in this?" Or any variation of it. ALWAYS SAY YES.
Rule 3: Do not deny her sex. Denying sex DOES NOT WORK ON WOMEN. THEY DON'T NEED IT.
Rule 4: Two-Hitter rule; don't fall into the argument stage.
Rule 5: Follow the four rules above, and you might survive to the 2nd Anniversary.
Explanation of rule 1: Guys, DO NOT ARGUE with your woman. It's completely impossible to win. I know some of you guys will say, "No! I can with an argument with a girl!" You're a liar. You can not win a argument with a woman. In an argument with a woman, remember these facts; you're always wrong. You're stupid, she doesn't like you, there's always a girl you checked out at that place you went to and you mysteriously like her more, your feet stink, your room is a mess, and you can't take care of her. PLUS she is about to deny you sex. So as you can see, by the end of the night you are either sleeping on the floor in the bathroom, or masturbating your private porn stash THAT WOMEN CAN NEVER FIND.
Explanation of rule 2: So you're going out on a Friday night and she's in the bedroom or walk-in closet choosing what she's going to wear because she's always got to out-dress you, so you look stupid going out with her so the one overly handsome-dressed guy; WHO'S EVERYWHERE YOU GO AND NEVER HAS A DATE OF HIS OWN; comes over to her and makes you look like a chump. BUT, before that happens and she steps out and asks you, "Do I look good in this?" You HAVE to say yes; know why? Because at least she's happy with you for the 30 minutes it takes to get where you're going. If you say no, you're well on your way do an argument and that goes against step 1.
Explanation of rule 3: This one is plain and simple. If you can honestly tell your woman "You're not getting laid tonight!" Just take the gun and pull the trigger in your mouth RIGHT THEN. Because women don't need sex, rather... They don't need YOUR sex. You have officially made yourself an idiot if you deny her sex. And if she doesn't just laugh in your face when you say that, you're stuck in an argument and thus going against rule one.
Explanation of rule 4: Two-Hitter rule... The most important rule. Learn this one and learn it fast and well. This is the automatic argument prevention system. AAPS for short. I'm going to let you guys know now that you have 2 of her turns to prevent the argument and when that 3rd turn comes around, you, my friend... Have failed. To start this process, you must initiate the pre-argument; By. Whatever. Means. Neccesary. We as guys have the a Trouble-Sense. We can jsut SMELL when trouble is coming our way. MAKE an excuse to start the pre-argument. Now, after your turn, she's going to take hers, after which your feelings are hurt quite a bit, and you're thinking of something to say; when you do. That was your 2nd turn, and it has been her 1st. You have the upper hand so far because you SHOULD'VE said more meaningful things so far. Now, here comes the finale; after she takes her second turn, you're just about ready to commit suicide, because by now she's thrown everything at you but the 'no-sex' move, and the 'You're sleeping on the ____" move. By now she's told you that your dick is little, your family sucks, you're not the way you were when you first met, she thinks about her ex-boyfriend when you're having sex, she met a cute guy at the store, you're broke, her father/mother was right about you, you're the reason she lives in the piece of crap apartment, and you're a sloppy, worthless, pig who can't even do his own laundry. Now, here you have to pick yourself up and win the entire pre-argument. I have a method for this that I will not reveal in this blog but at a later date, you can win any pre-argument with the method; but without it, you have to win the pre-argument by any means neccessary right here and now, because if she gets another turn; it's a full arguement, and she's about to tell you what's really bothering her, and everything that's wrong with the relationship, and you have officially failed.
Explanation of rule 5: If you don't understand it, you shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.
I'll start with rules, and explanations, and get on other methods and techniques and stuff that prove that men are better.
Rule 1: Don't argue with a woman. You never win, it's impossible. Follow to Two-hitter rule.
Rule 2: When she asks "Do I look good in this?" Or any variation of it. ALWAYS SAY YES.
Rule 3: Do not deny her sex. Denying sex DOES NOT WORK ON WOMEN. THEY DON'T NEED IT.
Rule 4: Two-Hitter rule; don't fall into the argument stage.
Rule 5: Follow the four rules above, and you might survive to the 2nd Anniversary.
Explanation of rule 1: Guys, DO NOT ARGUE with your woman. It's completely impossible to win. I know some of you guys will say, "No! I can with an argument with a girl!" You're a liar. You can not win a argument with a woman. In an argument with a woman, remember these facts; you're always wrong. You're stupid, she doesn't like you, there's always a girl you checked out at that place you went to and you mysteriously like her more, your feet stink, your room is a mess, and you can't take care of her. PLUS she is about to deny you sex. So as you can see, by the end of the night you are either sleeping on the floor in the bathroom, or masturbating your private porn stash THAT WOMEN CAN NEVER FIND.
Explanation of rule 2: So you're going out on a Friday night and she's in the bedroom or walk-in closet choosing what she's going to wear because she's always got to out-dress you, so you look stupid going out with her so the one overly handsome-dressed guy; WHO'S EVERYWHERE YOU GO AND NEVER HAS A DATE OF HIS OWN; comes over to her and makes you look like a chump. BUT, before that happens and she steps out and asks you, "Do I look good in this?" You HAVE to say yes; know why? Because at least she's happy with you for the 30 minutes it takes to get where you're going. If you say no, you're well on your way do an argument and that goes against step 1.
Explanation of rule 3: This one is plain and simple. If you can honestly tell your woman "You're not getting laid tonight!" Just take the gun and pull the trigger in your mouth RIGHT THEN. Because women don't need sex, rather... They don't need YOUR sex. You have officially made yourself an idiot if you deny her sex. And if she doesn't just laugh in your face when you say that, you're stuck in an argument and thus going against rule one.
Explanation of rule 4: Two-Hitter rule... The most important rule. Learn this one and learn it fast and well. This is the automatic argument prevention system. AAPS for short. I'm going to let you guys know now that you have 2 of her turns to prevent the argument and when that 3rd turn comes around, you, my friend... Have failed. To start this process, you must initiate the pre-argument; By. Whatever. Means. Neccesary. We as guys have the a Trouble-Sense. We can jsut SMELL when trouble is coming our way. MAKE an excuse to start the pre-argument. Now, after your turn, she's going to take hers, after which your feelings are hurt quite a bit, and you're thinking of something to say; when you do. That was your 2nd turn, and it has been her 1st. You have the upper hand so far because you SHOULD'VE said more meaningful things so far. Now, here comes the finale; after she takes her second turn, you're just about ready to commit suicide, because by now she's thrown everything at you but the 'no-sex' move, and the 'You're sleeping on the ____" move. By now she's told you that your dick is little, your family sucks, you're not the way you were when you first met, she thinks about her ex-boyfriend when you're having sex, she met a cute guy at the store, you're broke, her father/mother was right about you, you're the reason she lives in the piece of crap apartment, and you're a sloppy, worthless, pig who can't even do his own laundry. Now, here you have to pick yourself up and win the entire pre-argument. I have a method for this that I will not reveal in this blog but at a later date, you can win any pre-argument with the method; but without it, you have to win the pre-argument by any means neccessary right here and now, because if she gets another turn; it's a full arguement, and she's about to tell you what's really bothering her, and everything that's wrong with the relationship, and you have officially failed.
Explanation of rule 5: If you don't understand it, you shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.
Friday, February 6, 2009
A day in the life of me -- Stress and Coping
I bet you're wondering what that thing is. That is my daily stress meter. Every night when I go to bed, it resets down to what you see. That's me at my neutral, happy and whatnot like some of you see me. But we all know in life there is something that just stressed you out and makes the whole day a lot harder. Yes. I'm talking about... Her.
Now, I'll begin with just a regular day starting with me waking up.
Me: -Yaaaawwwnstretchstretch- What a GLORIOUS day for living me life! ;D
-Gets up, uses the bathroom and washes up a little- I wonder what my Baby is up to. -Sits in computer chair and clears the screen savers-
Shana: HI BABY! ;DDDDDDDD
Me: H-how'd you know I was here?
Shana: I can smell you! I always know when you're here! >;]]]]]
Me: Ooouukkaaaay... Good morning; what're you up to?
Shana: -Rants about cute and adorable things she looked up and found on today's exciting adventure in Sja Land, then gives links to everything-
Me: Must've been fun, and those are cute. I love you, Baby.
Shana: I love you too! What's your schedule today?
Me: Well, I have class in a few hours, but other than that, nothing much else.
Shana: Mm'kay.
[About 30 minutes of silence]
Shana: BABYBABYBABYBABYBABYBABY!
Me: WHATWHATWHATWHAT!? WHAT'S GOING ON!?
Shana: Nothing; I love you. :33
Stress Bar +1Me: Did you have to scream it? I thought something was wrong; but I love you too, Baby.
Shana: Whatever, Look at what I found! -Links a picture of something pink/hellokitty related/bug-eyed/cute/shoe-boot related/a youtube video of someone just and strage as her-
Me: Do you ever hear anything I say?
Shana: Did you click it yet!? ;DDDDD
Me: -____-;;; Thought so.
Stress Bar +1
Me: I'll click it now, Baby.
Me: -Afterward- Yes, that's nice! ;D
Shana: I know, right! It's AWESOME! ;DDDDDDD But you're stupid.
Me: You're stupid. D;
Shana: Shut up, stupid.
Me: No you, stupid.
Shana: Shut up or you don't get any sex.
Me: Wha-huh-wh-what!? DDDDDD;
Stress Bar +4Shana: -Giggle- Thought so. I love you, Cute-little-marshmellow-dino-baby!! ;DDDD
Stress Bar +1
But alas, she is absolutely amazing and adorable and it's impossible not to love her. -___-
THAT'S what I hate. That I can't just NOT love her. Although it's not bad, throughout all my stress I'm laughing because it's really funny how she does all of this. Someday I'll have to write an extended version so you can understand the full length to which she drives me insane with her love. But I really do love her. She's incredible.
Time comes when I have to leave for class, and she always keeps me here until I'm a minute or two late for class; but I manage. Upon return I get drowned in more things she has to show me, all of which are similar to what was stated above. OR, she's angry about something or some some website that isn't doing things her way. (OMG she is the most adorable angry person ever. She does this 'No-face' that is TO DIE FOR. And she also makes the pouty-face, that; when you see it; makes you go, "AAAAWWWWWWWEEEEEE!" -___-;; Not always a good thing, because once you start with the "AA-" she does this little smirk that means; "GOTACHA!" and you've completely fallen for her trap.)
Then of course if the highlight of my days. And it starts with a simple comment, usually out of nowhere.
Shana: Water is gross. I don't understand how you could drink it.
[Now; before I go on... I want all of you guys who are reading this, to stay tuned next time for the blog on why we don't argue with women, and issues with women in general. But basically, don't ever get into a heated arguement with a woman unless you know how to win. Which will be revealed in my next blog.]
Me: Water is great, shut up, you suck.
Shana: Fine, I'll shut up.
Me: ... Whatever.
[10 mionutes pass]
Me: ... -Thinking- She'll give in.
Shana: -Smirks the very way Timmy HATES WITH A MAD PASSION BECAUSE SHE KNOWS SHE'S WON-
Me: FINE, BABY! Don't shut up, whateverm just talk to me.
Shana: >:33 -Crazygiggle- I love you, Baby.
Me: -____________-;;;;;;; I love you too. But you still suck.
Shana: Isn't that what you want me to do? ^___^
Me: ... soeifgjhwelfj I HATE YOU!
Shana: No you don't, you love me. ;DD
Me: UGH GO AWAY
Shana: You wouldn't want that.
Me: OH MY GOD, I HATE YOU!
Shana: We already went over this, you don't hate me, you love me.
Me: UGH -Sits in silence for a lack of things to say-
Stress Bar +2
[Two minutes later]
Shana: Baby?
Me: Yes?
Shana: I like shorts. ;D
Me: Don't...
Shana: They're comfy and easy to wear! ;DDDDDD
For those of you that don't know, that's a reference to Pokemon R/B/Y.
Me: -Sigh- Oukay, Shana. -___-; What're you up to?
Shana: Loving you, reading bash.org, and being bothered by people on MSN.
Me: I see... Well tell those people to go away.
Shana: You do it.
Me: Just invite me to the conversations and I will.
Shana: No. I don't want to.
Me: ... So how can I tell the to go away.
Shana: I don't know just do it.
Me: How....?
Shana: MAGIC! GEEZ, JUST DO IT!
Me: OUKAYOUKAY! FINE! I'LL DO IT, WHATEVER.
Shana: Good.
The rest of the day pretty much continues like this. until late at night, around 10-11PM my time.
At which point, she should be sleeping but she's not; know why? SHE'S STAYING AWAKE FOR ME! AND THAT JUST BOTHERS ME!
Shana: I don't want to go to bed.
Me: Why?
Shana: Because you're still here.
Me: I'll go to bed soon, don't worry.
Shana: BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED WHILE YOU'RE STILL HERE!
Me: Oukay! Calm down.
Shana: NO! SHUT UP! YOU'RE STUPID!
Me: ... What did I do!?
(NEVER ASK A GIRL THIS QUESTION!!!)
Shana: UGH! -Perverbial Cold Shoulder-
Me: -Sigh- ...
Me: Oukay, Shana. You can stay up. But I'm going to go run off really quickly to get some ice cream.
Shana: No. You're going to stay here.
Me: I'll only be gone for a few minutes, I'll be right back.
Shana: NO! You'll stay here! Because I want you here.
Me: Why?
Shana: Because I said so, and you have to.
Me: ... BUT WHY!?
Shana: BECAUSE. I. SAID. SO.
Me: So I have to stay here, JUST because you say so?
Shana: NOW you got it, Baby! ;DD It's about time; geez, you are so slow.
Me: WOEIRGJHOEIGJOPLJN YOUR MOM IS SLOW!
Shana: You like my mom? That's gross! And that' really hurts!
Me: WHAT!? I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT!
Shana: I'm coming to see you this summer.
Me: WHAAAT!!?!?!?!?! HOW DID WE EVEN GET TO THIS SUBJECT!?
Shana: So you don't want me to come? I see. -Cold shoulder again-
Me: -Headdesk-
[After a minute of cooling down]
Me: -Heavy sigh- Baby. You're coming this summer?
Shana: YAY! I GET TO COME THIS SUMMER! ;DDDDD
Me: ... -COMPLETELY puzzled and annoyed look + headdesk-
Shana: -Giggle- You just said I could.
Me: I didn't say that.
Shana: OH! So you're changing your mind again? I can't come? I thought you loved me. But it turns out you hate me!
Me: ... -Slitswrists- I didn't say anything like that! WHat's wrong with you!?
Shana: So can I come or not?
Me: -Thinking- If I say no... She'll be pissed and upset with me. Soo... -Speaking- ... Yes, Baby. You can come.
Shana: Good! Look at these prices! Oh, and how big is your bed? You'll have to clear out half your closet. -Links to ticket prices-
Me: ... You already looked up this information?
Shana: Duh, I already knew I was going.
Me: -Headdesk-
Shana: You hate me don't you? You think I'm ugly, huh?
Me: -Chews foil-
Stress bar Maxed, and overflowed.Me: -Pauses in between each word for a stress relieving breath- No. Shana. I love you. It's late. Let's. Get. Some. Sleep. Oukay? :];;;;; -Eyetwitchtwitchtwitchtwitchtwitch-
Shana: Okay, Baby! I love you!
Me: I love you too.
Now that you've got a random day; multiply that times about 10, and you've got every other day. But honestly, throughout the entire day, I just love her more. She's just awesome. No matter how annoyed I get with her, the whole situation is just hilarious, and she's perfect. SO.... Before she gets mad at me for writing this... I LOVE YOU BABY! DON'T HURT ME! I already know I'm going to be eatting bullets while I sleep tonight because she's going to do/say something about this.
BUT NOW! How do I actually cope with this? Either in the middle or before saying we need to go to bed, I listen to the song "Enormous Penis" By Bob and Tom, look it up on YouTube. For the best result search for "Ouran Enormous Penis".
That song ALWAYS cheers me up and reduces the Stress bar by about 4 notches. On top of that, if I'm feeling really bad and she starts to feel guilty (ON OCCASION), she'll sing to me, or be all adorable and tell me how awesome I am, how much she loves me, and other cute things.
ANYWAY, that's about it, Thank you for reading!
America the what?
In a country where we step over the homeless person because we are so worried about a piece of foam that fell off our space vehicle; in a county where our jails are bulging because we have to punish those who senses were inflamed by the nudity and lewdness all around us; in a country where children go to bed hungry and bitten by rats because their landlords wife just had to have a new Mercedes to match her new shoes; in a country where a photograph of a soldier in a war-torn nation bending down to pet a cat will never make the front page but a nearly naked woman washing a car is news; in a country where people go to sleep and wake up dead because they can’t afford the food or heat or medicine or air conditioning that would keep them alive; in a country where the user guides to all the toys are an inch thick because no one is willing to stand up and say “We speak English in this nation”; in a country where we keep peace by giving credentials to those who risked life and limb just to come here without telling anyone; in a country where we spend most of our lives in the very vehicles that are poisoning the air we breath and then spend most of our money on doctors and hospitals and medicines to help us breathe more easily; in a country where the ills of the population are buried under something called “Political Correctness”; in a country where the papers will print all sorts of stories about death and violence and aberrant behavior but will excise any text with the word god lest we offend anyone; in a country that abounds with some sort of religious edifice on every corner, be it massive or humble and yet the only ones who are heard are the ones who are trying to remove all vestiges of god from our lives; in a country that is outraged when its buildings are brought down by those who seek to wipe out what we think we are and yet who respond to such hatred with violence; in a country whose homes are blown away by hurricanes or that slide down the mountain side on rivers of mud or are picked up by the winds of a tornado because we are not smart enough to understand that, in the grand scheme of things, we aren’t very significant; in a country where violence, hatred and inequality are still enflamed by the color of a square inch of skin and where that square inch of skin has to be mentioned on every legal document we sign, although it is illegal to take any notice of it; in a country that STILL doesn’t understand that drugs are not the answer; in a country where the drug dealers that are killing us are wealthier than the farmers who feed us; in a country that doesn’t know how united we are until Death becomes news; in a country that doesn’t understand that manipulating a device does not impact time, that daylight can’t be saved and that we’d better get out and enjoy it while we can; in a country that rewards writers who extol the difficulties of marriage but cancel any program that extols its virtues; in a country where a man can write a check to pay for a building to house the family of a wounded warrior and not even make the paper, much less the front page; in a country that doesn’t understand that removing the word god from their eyes does not remove the “reality” of god from their lives; in a country that doesn’t understand that “liberty” does not mean “license”; with all of this going for us, how is it that we must still ask “Oh god, WHY”?
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