Men vs. Women

Here is a small guide to understanding women and why you (men) fail at... Women.

I'll start with rules, and explanations, and get on other methods and techniques and stuff that prove that men are better.

Rule 1: Don't argue with a woman. You never win, it's impossible. Follow to Two-hitter rule.
Rule 2: When she asks "Do I look good in this?" Or any variation of it. ALWAYS SAY YES.
Rule 3: Do not deny her sex. Denying sex DOES NOT WORK ON WOMEN. THEY DON'T NEED IT.
Rule 4: Two-Hitter rule; don't fall into the argument stage.
Rule 5: Follow the four rules above, and you might survive to the 2nd Anniversary.

Explanation of rule 1: Guys, DO NOT ARGUE with your woman. It's completely impossible to win. I know some of you guys will say, "No! I can with an argument with a girl!" You're a liar. You can not win a argument with a woman. In an argument with a woman, remember these facts; you're always wrong. You're stupid, she doesn't like you, there's always a girl you checked out at that place you went to and you mysteriously like her more, your feet stink, your room is a mess, and you can't take care of her. PLUS she is about to deny you sex. So as you can see, by the end of the night you are either sleeping on the floor in the bathroom, or masturbating your private porn stash THAT WOMEN CAN NEVER FIND.

Explanation of rule 2: So you're going out on a Friday night and she's in the bedroom or walk-in closet choosing what she's going to wear because she's always got to out-dress you, so you look stupid going out with her so the one overly handsome-dressed guy; WHO'S EVERYWHERE YOU GO AND NEVER HAS A DATE OF HIS OWN; comes over to her and makes you look like a chump. BUT, before that happens and she steps out and asks you, "Do I look good in this?" You HAVE to say yes; know why? Because at least she's happy with you for the 30 minutes it takes to get where you're going. If you say no, you're well on your way do an argument and that goes against step 1.

Explanation of rule 3: This one is plain and simple. If you can honestly tell your woman "You're not getting laid tonight!" Just take the gun and pull the trigger in your mouth RIGHT THEN. Because women don't need sex, rather... They don't need YOUR sex. You have officially made yourself an idiot if you deny her sex. And if she doesn't just laugh in your face when you say that, you're stuck in an argument and thus going against rule one.

Explanation of rule 4: Two-Hitter rule... The most important rule. Learn this one and learn it fast and well. This is the automatic argument prevention system. AAPS for short. I'm going to let you guys know now that you have 2 of her turns to prevent the argument and when that 3rd turn comes around, you, my friend... Have failed. To start this process, you must initiate the pre-argument; By. Whatever. Means. Neccesary. We as guys have the a Trouble-Sense. We can jsut SMELL when trouble is coming our way. MAKE an excuse to start the pre-argument. Now, after your turn, she's going to take hers, after which your feelings are hurt quite a bit, and you're thinking of something to say; when you do. That was your 2nd turn, and it has been her 1st. You have the upper hand so far because you SHOULD'VE said more meaningful things so far. Now, here comes the finale; after she takes her second turn, you're just about ready to commit suicide, because by now she's thrown everything at you but the 'no-sex' move, and the 'You're sleeping on the ____" move. By now she's told you that your dick is little, your family sucks, you're not the way you were when you first met, she thinks about her ex-boyfriend when you're having sex, she met a cute guy at the store, you're broke, her father/mother was right about you, you're the reason she lives in the piece of crap apartment, and you're a sloppy, worthless, pig who can't even do his own laundry. Now, here you have to pick yourself up and win the entire pre-argument. I have a method for this that I will not reveal in this blog but at a later date, you can win any pre-argument with the method; but without it, you have to win the pre-argument by any means neccessary right here and now, because if she gets another turn; it's a full arguement, and she's about to tell you what's really bothering her, and everything that's wrong with the relationship, and you have officially failed.

Explanation of rule 5: If you don't understand it, you shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.