When you start to notice how short life is; when you start to notice each and every item around your existence, and you hold each and ever person you have closer to your heart; what is when your life has fallen into true perspective. When ever morning you wake up wondering if it's your own time, if you should even bother continue life when others never got to choose.
If you knew when your love one(s) were going to pass away, would you make their last day so much more special just because of that? Would you not cry because you knew this was going to happen? Would you try to prevent it and break upon failure, or not try at all? It's true; you don't know what you've got until it's gone. When you lose something precious you learn just how important it was to you. What do you do once it gone? How long do you mourn the loss? Is it wrong to cry forever? Each and every thing in this world has it's place. Then each and every one of those things has a place in your heart. When you lose something that can not be replaced, what do you use to fill the void? Can you even fill it?
When you lay in bed at night, reminiscing about wonderful times, great things, and things you shouldn't have done; what can you use as a cure for the pain? My cure? Just to be held. But not just by anyone. One special person. But in moments when you can't have your cure, what's the next best thing? Sit in pain and misery, dragging down the moods of everyone around you, or fake a smile and at least seem happy? How long would you let me cry? Minutes? Hours? Days? Weeks?
All I can tell myself is that it's only pain, and it'll fade. But is that fair to myself? Where in this darkness is my light? I have saved the world, but who will come to save me? It's a pain deeper than any bullet or blade could reach; can you hear me cry?
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If forever is how long you need to cry, then go ahead and cry forever. Don't worry about dragging down other people's moods, this is when you should care only about yourself and do whatever you feel has to be done. I wish I could hold you right now, but all I can offer is my unlimited love. Someday, my love, we will be off in our castle in the clouds (the white fluffy ones or the ones you fangirl over, I don't even care which one you'd pick) and our world shall be perfect. I will make you peanutbutter businesscard chocolate sandwiches every day, read to you, work on secret gifts for you that you can't stop thinking about, I'll do whatever you want me to do. I love you more than you could possibly know, baby.
ReplyDeleteOh, Dearest. We haven't talked for a little while, so I don't know who or what you've lost.
ReplyDeleteSo I can't offer any of the things people say when they wish they could make things better for you.
Atleast pain isn't supposed to last forever. It doesn't, though it might feel like it will. Eventually it fades when you realized the love of the people around you is still there, when you know that it's more important than the pain. Sooner or later it's something everyone learns. A very unwelcome lesson, hmm?
You should work on yourself.
ReplyDeleteEvery one else just wishes you better.